heisrisen | 17. Nebelung

[Private to Sylvanas]

You mentioned an exchange.

[Private to Davy Jones]

Do you consider yourself Lady Windrunner's friend?

[Spam for Iris.]

[He can, when occasion calls for it, be very, very sneaky. Not strictly breathing helps. When she wakes the day after her return, she finds a worn abalone button - one of Yavru's inexplicable treasures - on her bedside table and a note on her chart about the effects of bloodloss on a bicardial system.]

Eat iron & hydrate!

[Beyond that, he makes himself scarce. He's still not back on his regular shifts in the infirmary, and he doesn't go to the lab, or the greenhouse, or make himself otherwise publicly available. If she tries his room, there are good odds he's hiding out in Morgana's room, or Sylvanas's, or in the most secluded recesses of the library.]

[Private to Hornblower]

...among other things, Captain Bush has mentioned you excel in mathematics.

[Private to Hannibal]

If we were planting a few herbs, would you have requests?

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

[Oh what the goddamn hell is this nonsense. Jones growls over the line]

Emperor, I willnae discuss my private business with you.

I do... enjoy mathematics, but I am beginning to wonder if Captain Bush hasn't been a little overly generous with his descriptions of me.

Of course not. You can shut up and listen, then.

She is in pain, Captain, as much as I have seen her in during my time here. If you are so self-centered as to imagine that she neglects you for anything less than her own prolonged emotional disintegration - well, frankly, she deserves better.

[Angry sputtering on the other end of the line. Jones needs a few seconds to compose himself, slamming his claw down angrily]

She does not neglect me. And she is better off alone! We are all of us better off alone! You will not involve yourself in our affairs, upstart!

It's just - you probably saw, but no doubt the ramifications remain strange to you. We have a number of teenagers aboard, inmates and wardens alike, and there are constant attempts to maintain decent schooling for them here, so they can better themselves.

Ms. Lynd, who was our resident math instructor, announced her departure just yesterday.

I will gladly claim to be her friend, no matter who asks it, and that makes it my affair.

We will all suffer, one way or another. If you intend to knowingly turn your face away, that is, indeed, your business. Simply understand that she is not choosing to do the same.

[Angry stewing. Angry stewing. Jones is about to lash out again when something the Emperor said previously finally catches up with him]

You said she was in pain.

Oh.

That's extremely wise, actually. Some captains have done similar things for the young midshipmen on board ships I've served in the past.

Of course, I would be happy to volunteer, if there is no one more suitable on board.

[Not so curt, now. Not gentle, either. Just solemn.]

Yes.

Who is hurting her? Besides this damned ship and everything it does.

It's the ship, just, something culminated, or she ran out of whatever terrible resources kept her fortified against it until now. She lost Beatrice, who she was close to, and maybe there are other factors, I don't know.

But this isn't her old holding pattern pain. This is...diving.

Edited 2014-02-04 03:14 (UTC)

And yeh expect me to pull her out of it?

Several of us are capable with the material, but we already have work shifts - as do some of the children, in fact - and the scheduling rapidly becomes catastrophic.

You should put your name in, at least. We believe Mister Megamind is organizing the arrangements.

I expect you to try. I know I can't do it on my own, but you - I think you understand her grievances with more depth than I do.

And if she crashes anyway then we must be there to help gather the pieces and carry them on, because this place will not let her die even lying in bleeding fragments.

[Not anger, this, but cold, fathomless bitterness, the pure black of the empty space between stars.]

This place is ruining her soul even after death. It torments her, and you want me to work with you, an agent of this place, and save her for your meddling.

I willnae betray her to your workings.

[He is, for a few moments, utterly speechless.]

An agent of- ? I am going to rot here beside you until I am either seething, cackling mad or a shambling empty husk or some twisted golem of both. I am very well aware that I am only stalling, but if I stave off the worst long enough, perhaps we will vanish before we lose ourselves completely.

Please don't betray her to me. I don't actually want to do any of this with you. But do take care that you are not simply betraying her in the process.

I doubt it. We will all three of us be here, tormented and left alone and tormented again in cycles until we're all near to wishing we were dead.

She does not want my help.

[Bluntly.]

She wishes she were dead already.

But that's hardly the worst we can come to. And there's no one on the ship now who's been here longer than six years. A paltry amount of time for any of the three of us.

Don't try to help, if it's so unfathomable to you. But speak to her. She's too lost to do it first, right now, and she needs friends whether she wants them or not.

Edited 2014-02-04 03:58 (UTC)

Friends willnae stop her wishing for death. I wish for the same thing. You place too much emphasis on the power of words, Emperor. The reality is she will remain here until she is lost for good. All we do now is delay the inevitable.

I did.

[Delay, of course, is all he's hoping for.]

So go to her and be silent. But go.

Or don't. Leave her entirely to my influences, if you truly can't be bothered from your own despair.

Edited 2014-02-04 04:03 (UTC)

[With a snarl, Jones slams his comm to the floor, biting back a retort at it]

You will make it all worse! Keep away from her!

We'd rather discuss it in person. May we come see you?

[Personally, he's sort of grateful for the distraction from his.]

No. If it's an eternity of suffering we're in for, then I'm not leaving her to face it alone.

You do want you want.

Of course.

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